that i could absorb everything from every one of them, without needing to read them, since i find it hard to find the patience, or especially the time, to read or watch anything longer than a page or 30 minutes. i own kindle versions of a few, which i purchased recently, but haven't really read them, but the only physical one i have is the illustrated goetia, which i bought in 2012, after having a dream about things called 'goetia', before i even knew the meaning of the word. i haven't read that one either, except for a few paragraphs. time must work differently for different people; mine seems to have become some kind of enemy for me to fight with all the (time), but i don't let it bother me too much anymore; i'm busy all day doing things, even if most of them are mundane household chores; at least i'm not laying in a drugged stupor doing nothing at all, anymore...
still, i wish i could read them; the knowledge they contain couldn't possibly make my existence any worse, could it...